Why did the sailor lose his job?
Because he missed the boat.
What did the doctor say when the nurse told him the invisible man was there?
Why are lawyers so fast at writing?
How can you spot a jealous shamrock?
Who is a fruit's favorite celebrity?
Why did the squirrel check into a mental hospital?
A book just fell on my head.
What do you call someone who sees a robbery at an Apple Store?
What do you call a fish on a hot day?
What's the difference between a fish and a piano?
Which celebrity always had the most beautiful Christmas trees?
What outfit is appropriate for a dinner in the Arctic?
What did Polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?
How did the candy rescue the person lost at sea?
Why do hogs play so much football?
What kind of flowers should you not give on Valentine's Day?
What is a toilet's favorite hand in poker?
Why did the granddaughter think she lived in heaven?
What animal makes the best lunches?
What does a dolphin say when it's confused?
What did the squirrel bring to the Thanksgiving potluck?