What dog wears contact lenses?
A cock-eyed spaniel.
What do you call a volleyball with a bad attitude?
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
What did the angry customer say to the mechanic who couldn't figure out what was wrong with his car?
Did you hear about the Labor Day joke?
What does Santa call his wife at tax time?
Why was the chameleon such a good cashier?
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
What game did the cat like to play with the mouse?
What kind of flowers should you not give on Valentine's Day?
What's always messy no matter how many times you clean it?
What did the raspberry say to his valentine?
What kind of bean never grows in a garden?
What's the most popular soda in pastry school?
What do you call someone with a dictionary in their pocket?
What do ocean animals do when it snows?
What bird shouldn't drink coffee?
What happens when a senator gets in trouble for speaking too long?
What farm animal is best at karate?
What's the hardest holiday to forget?
What did the wolf say when it stubbed its toe?