Why is Michael Phelps never late?
He always arrives in world record time.
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
Which former US President was always cold?
Who is married to Dairy Queen®?
What do donkeys take to go to the store?
What did the adding machine say to the cashier?
Why did the broom get a poor grade in school?
Why aren't dogs good at dancing?
Where do fishermen look to hire more crew?
Why should you stand in a corner if you're cold?
What kind of bow can't be tied?
How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster?
Where do optometrists go on vacation?
Any maid is great at keeping secrets.
What's Father Christmas called when he takes a rest while delivering presents?
Why did the toad become a lighthouse keeper?
What's chips and guac's favorite constellation?
What is a spider's favorite book?
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses on the last day of school?
What do fish do at parades?